Yes, that’s right, I used to be a horse. The picture here is of me on a radio show back in 2011 before I had an operation to turn me into a man. As you can see, I was quite a remarkable horse. I could talk, fry an egg, brush my teeth, create simple bar graphs and teach Spanish. I also took part in the synchronised swimming at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, but was disqualified for having 4 legs. Fortunately, I recovered from that crushing blow to go on and win the Grand National in 1993. If you think this is all nonsense and you don’t believe me, ask my mum. Her name’s Judy and she lives in a field just outside High Wycombe.